Steven Wright – “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need…”
Steven Wright best Experience Quotes – “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.”
Steven Wright
Steven Wright – “There’s something about being in front of a live audience that’…”
Steven Wright best Experience Quotes – “There’s something about being in front of a live audience that’s fun. It’s a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can’t get it anywhere else. And I’ve been doing it since I was 23, so it’s part of my being – it’s part of my fabric as a person.”
Steven Wright – “Sometimes I wish my first word was ‘quote,’ so that on my death…”
Steven Wright best Death Quotes – “Sometimes I wish my first word was ‘quote,’ so that on my death bed, my last words could be ‘end quote.'”
Steven Wright – “When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.…”
Steven Wright best Death Quotes – “When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.”
Steven Wright – “I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy…”
Steven Wright best Car Quotes – “I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
Steven Wright – “I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my ca…”
Steven Wright best Car Quotes – “I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.”
Steven Wright – “I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I’m home now. B…”
Steven Wright best Car Quotes – “I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I’m home now. But leave a message and I’ll call when I’m out.”
Steven Wright – “I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends w…”
Steven Wright best Car Quotes – “I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.”
Steven Wright – “I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. …”
Steven Wright best Car Quotes – “I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I’m gone.”
Steven Wright – “I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it l…”
Steven Wright best Car Quotes – “I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I’m the only one moving.”
Steven Wright – “I laugh all the time – at things, people, stuff, whatever. But,…”
Steven Wright best Business Quotes – “I laugh all the time – at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don’t laugh onstage because then it’s serious business.”
Steven Wright – “For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put…”
Steven Wright best Birthday Quotes – “For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”
Steven Wright – “I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood aro…”
Steven Wright best Birthday Quotes – “I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.'”
Steven Wright – “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.…”
Steven Wright best Birthday Quotes – “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
Steven Wright – “I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the mo…”
Steven Wright best Birthday Quotes – “I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I’m an idiot.”