I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-on …” – Henny Youngman
I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me. – Henny Youngman
Wife
I love being my husband’s wife. …” – Julianna Margulies
I love being my husband’s wife. – Julianna Margulies
There’s nothing like a good cheating song to make …” – Steven Curtis Chapman
There’s nothing like a good cheating song to make me want to run home to be with my wife. – Steven Curtis Chapman
I have learned that only two things are necessary …” – Lyndon B. Johnson
I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it. – Lyndon B. Johnson
Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far …” – Franz Schubert
Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. – Franz Schubert
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and …” – Michel De Montaigne
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. – Michel De Montaigne
A good husband makes a good wife. …” – John Florio
A good husband makes a good wife. – John Florio
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best. …” – Kin Hubbard
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best. – Kin Hubbard
My wife is my favorite person I’ve ever met in my …” – Mike Greenberg
My wife is my favorite person I’ve ever met in my 40 years on the planet, and I’m sure she would agree that patience is not her strongest characteristic. I don’t know that golf would be the game for her. – Mike Greenberg
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than whe …” – Homer
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. – Homer
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s eit …” – Prince Philip
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. – Prince Philip
For our anniversary, my wife and I went to see God …” – Bill Hader
For our anniversary, my wife and I went to see Godzilla, and then we ate at Barnyard Venice, and it was like, ‘We are crazy! The Kardashians have to keep up with us!’ – Bill Hader
There’s just me and my wife and a dog and we feed …” – Mike Ditka
There’s just me and my wife and a dog and we feed him Healthy Choice also. – Mike Ditka