How can I believe in God when just last week I got …” – Woody Allen
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? – Woody Allen
Humor Quotes
I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love …” – Woody Allen
I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time.
She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic. – Woody Allen
If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a …” – Woody Allen
If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative. – Woody Allen
If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in hi …” – Woody Allen
If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he’d never stop throwing-up. – Woody Allen
I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be t …” – Woody Allen
I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens. – Woody Allen
When I look back on all these worries, I remember …” – Winston Churchill
When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened. – Winston Churchill
God is our Father and our God, but only in Christ …” – Martin Luther
God is our Father and our God, but only in Christ Jesus. – Martin Luther
I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want …” – Marilyn Monroe
I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent. – Marilyn Monroe
The chief drawback with men is that they are too t …” – Marilyn Monroe
The chief drawback with men is that they are too talkative. – Marilyn Monroe
I hate failure and that divorce was a Number One f …” – Lucille Ball
I hate failure and that divorce was a Number One failure in my eyes. It was the worst period of my life. Neither Desi nor I have been the same since, physically or mentally. – Lucille Ball
You see much more of your children once they leave …” – Lucille Ball
You see much more of your children once they leave home. – Lucille Ball
Men never forgive like Women. …” – Louisa May Alcott
Men never forgive like Women. – Louisa May Alcott
There is nothing I would not do for those who are …” – Jane Austen
There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. – Jane Austen
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from do …” – Isaac Asimov
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. – Isaac Asimov
When life knocks you to your knees, and it will, w …” – Ethel Barrymore
When life knocks you to your knees, and it will, why, get up! If it knocks you to your knees again, as it will, well, isn’t that the best position from which to pray? – Ethel Barrymore